As an early childhood educator, I believe in simplicity and clarity when guiding the behavior and choices of the children in my care. My rules are simple: Be Kind and Be Polite. These principles serve as the foundation for creating a respectful, harmonious environment while fostering the development of good citizens. Nearly every situation that arises—whether conflicts, accidents, or misunderstandings—can be addressed through these two overarching rules.
Why Simple Rules Work:
Children are naturally curious, and their learning often involves testing boundaries. Having just two simple rules provides a framework that is easy to remember and adaptable to most situations. By emphasizing kindness, I encourage children to think of others, act with compassion, and handle conflicts with empathy. Politeness promotes respect for peers, adults, and themselves, laying the groundwork for effective communication and cooperative play.
Rather than enforcing a rigid set of dos and don’ts, I focus on helping children internalize these values. This approach not only addresses immediate behaviors but also fosters long-term character development.
The Transformative Power of Reggio Emilia:
I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to learn about the Reggio Emilia approach. It was during a required course I took after transferring to a college in Alberta to complete my Early Childhood Diploma—a course I initially thought I didn’t need. At that time, I had been teaching using a one-sided, theme-driven approach that left little room for flexibility or child-led exploration.
Discovering Reggio Emilia’s principles completely transformed the way I view teaching and learning. The approach challenged me to see children as capable, curious individuals with their own unique ideas and theories. It encouraged me to let go of control, embrace collaboration, and value the child’s voice in shaping their learning experiences. Since then, I have never looked back, and I credit the Reggio Emilia approach with making me a better teacher and advocate for children.
Navigating Challenges with Conversation:
While the core rules guide most situations, there are times when specific challenges arise within a group of children. These recurring or situational issues require additional strategies. At such times, I turn to a method rooted in collaboration: the talking stick or stone.
The talking stick is a powerful tool for fostering communication and teaching the value of listening. When challenges emerge—whether it’s a conflict over toys, fairness, or play that becomes too rough—we gather in a circle. Only the child holding the stick may speak, ensuring that everyone has the chance to share their thoughts without interruption. As the teacher, I also take my turn with the stick, sharing my input, concerns, or suggestions to guide the group’s decision-making process. This practice promotes mutual respect and allows each child—and myself—to feel heard.
Real-Life Example: Light Sabers and Group Decision-Making
One memorable situation involved pool noodles, which the children used as light sabers. The play initially seemed harmless, but conflicts soon arose when children began hitting each other in the face, leading to frustration and tears. As the teacher, I tried to create a rule allowing only “weapon-to-weapon” hits, thinking it was the safest option. However, this rule rarely lasted, as the children found it difficult to follow during their energetic play.
Recognizing the need for a more effective solution, I called an emergency talking stick meeting. Each child was given the opportunity to share their experiences and feelings about the light saber play. When it was my turn with the stick, I explained my concerns about safety, emphasizing how injuries above the shoulders could cause serious harm. I also offered suggestions, such as avoiding body hits altogether, to help guide the discussion.
Through open conversation, the children came to a democratic decision and voted on a policy:
"Eyes do not heal as arms and legs. Please hit mostly weapon to weapon."
"If the group decides to allow hitting of limbs to play a game, all must agree on the rules."
"If yelling starts or someone gets hit above the shoulders, light sabers are gone for the day."
Although I initially preferred to ban body hits altogether, I respected the group’s decision. The policy they created reflected their understanding of fairness and safety, and we implemented it. To my surprise, the children largely adhered to their own rules, and the conflicts diminished.
Empowering Children Through Choice:
The light saber incident exemplifies my belief in empowering children to take responsibility for their actions. By involving them in problem-solving and decision-making, I give them a sense of ownership over their behavior and their environment. They learn to navigate challenges collaboratively, balancing their individual desires with the needs of the group.
As a teacher, participating in these discussions allows me to gently guide the children while respecting their autonomy. By sharing my concerns and suggestions, I model the importance of respectful dialogue and thoughtful decision-making.
This process also reinforces the values of kindness and politeness. Children learn that being kind means considering the impact of their actions on others, and being polite means respecting the rules and agreements they helped create.
Conclusion
“Be Kind” and “Be Polite” are more than just rules; they are principles that guide children toward becoming thoughtful, respectful, and responsible members of their community. While challenges will always arise, they are opportunities to teach valuable lessons about empathy, respect, and collaboration. Whether through a simple reminder or a group discussion using the talking stick, I strive to nurture an environment where children can grow not only as individuals but as good citizens of the world.
Rosetta
